Anachronoz
<Smokey Tokers>
Nzoth
Assisting Arch Druid Runetotem: There are no bad trips...
Somewhere in Zul Gurub.
Speaking softly as if to himself the grizzled orc murmured:
Those Tauren weren't kidding. Four days we've been here. Even the heat sensing serpents never as much as hissed in our direction. And the matching colors to your stripes was a nice touch, don't you think? We owe them big for this armor.
The sunshafts and the shadows seem to shift to his left as the low growl responding him reveals a row of razor teeth. Around them as if suspended - a mouth. A grin. And leaf like lids explode in frenzied bloodshot hungry eyes. A Ravasour Matriarch. Brood queen of the Ongoro raptors. Her muscles twitch from neck to tail and body joins the floating head into existence. Within a blink she's gone again. Impossibly still. A hungry, patient, deadly bush...
-There he is!
The old orc squints. His eyes still sharp, but the years have not been kind. One shot - one kill. His promise to the clients and a promise to himself.
-Confirm for me, will ya? The bodies were all Alliance. So this must be the killer's. And the wind is with us. Sniff!
Unfolding the grease cloth package laying on the ground, he lifts an intricate blood spattered Troll Headdress and gingerly presents it to the bush which once again shimmers with the outline of the raptor. Her eyes open wider, wider. Wild looking in all directions. Nostrils twitching. Muscles shiver on her like a wave. A blood craze. One breath is all it takes. He takes the headdress away and observes. Her hungry eyes are now fixed. He follows their target. It's him. Jin'do "The Hexxer". Thrall gave him this task and his trust. He will not fail his Warchief. For the Horde to be strong, this butcher must die, troll or not. One shot - one kill. Whooosh....Thud!
-YES! Right in his god damned eye!
Time for us to go! Let's get you something to eat before I lose an arm. I've noticed how you've been eyeing me the past day...
Next morning in the old dwarven inn where little sleep was to be had...
-Beer? Nahhh. It's past noon isn't it? Firewater! Yes. Yeeees.
His eyes now seeming just as wild as the raptor's.
-Come Primordia. They wont let you in the common room here and I've learned my lesson since the last time you were out of my sight...
-Remember?!?! THE ACCIDENT? Two days Primordia...Two days! We even joined the search parties trying to find the poor gnome only for you vomit his shoe right in front of the Mayor? Come on. There is a horde bar past those hills.
-DRINK! Barkeep! Is anyone running this place? Ah there you are. Three bottles of the cheapest, strongest firewater you have. And a bucket of dwarven ale for her. YES A BUCKET! She deserves it. Start pouring.
In quiet understand, orc and beast spend the next few hours drinking. A deep chesty laughter breaks the silence.
-Here. Let me. I can hear your teeth tinging on the bottom of the bucket. Ahahaha. I should never have given you beer when you were little.
He tips the bucket to her mouth and pours the remainder.
-Good.(KNOCK!) We did good.(KNOCK!) We might still(KNOCK!) manage to salvage(KNOCK!) this year. One more job. But later.. (KNOCK!)(KNOCK!)(KNOCK!) BARKEEP! WHAT IS THIS HORRID KNOCKING?
-They're hammering in our new bounty board upfront. We're rebranding. As of today we are called "The Hunter's Bounty"™. Quit your yapping and order something else or leave me be.
-A bounty board hmm?
!!!IMPORTANT!!!
Assisting Arch Druid Runetotem: To all adventurers and bounty hunters not afraid of danger. Report to Thunder Bluff no later than the new moon. Trouble in MARAUDON requires immediate attention. In light of and in celebration of the stop of hostilities between the Horde and the Alliance, all are welcome to the Bluffs.(Due to the nature of the task minimum height of 6 feet is required as well as either green skin, tusks and/or fur)"
-Uuugh... There goesh our shorry excushe of a vacation. -Hic!
What do you think girl? Shall we go repay that debt to the Tauren? If you don't eat anyone along the way I might even get ush into one of thoshe peacebloom pipe rooms. -Hic!
-Shkreeeee!!! -Hic!
TWO DAYS LATER:
ONWARD TO MARAUDON!
-Girl.. we smoked too much... I can hear your thoughts. About eating gnomes. Tasty, supple, crunchy gnomes.. BY THRALL'S BALLS! We are merged. They said not to teleport after smoking peacebloom. We're in deep trouble girl.GNOMES GNOMES..STOP. ITT. ...BLOOD...KILL..AAAARRRRRGHHHhhh...We might not be that different after all girl..
What would Durotan do? What would Durotan do???
Disembodied voice in the air:
"-You have to ZUG my son."
-Durotan?? Is that you?
"ZUUUUUUG OR DIE HERE LIKE A PEON!"
-This is the way....aaaaaaAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
-We need to have a talk after this...
-Oh ****! The rocks?! They're moving!
-Hahaha. Dumb rocks. I'm a shadow. One with nature. A hunter. A PREDATOR!
-PRIMORDIAAAA!!! HELP!
Good job girl. Didn't know the only natural predator of rocks are the Ungoro raptors.
-Let's go tell the Taurens the job is done...
Skreeeee!
-They're behind me, arent they...
-ZUUUUUUUUUUG!
